


Panic!

by RageHappyThunder



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 21:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RageHappyThunder/pseuds/RageHappyThunder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joel!Panic Attack</p>
            </blockquote>





	Panic!

Sometimes It clicks that it’s happening. Sometimes it just doesn’t. At work Joel can (usually) handle it. Just keep telling yourself to calm down, just keep telling yourself that you’re safe, that you’re okay and not going to die. You’re okay. You’re okay. I swear you’re okay. Just breathe. In and out and deep keep doing that. Maybe look out the window and think about the breeze, or get a piece of tape and just mess around with it. Distract yourself. Distract. Sometimes you can’t handle it, so you duck into a supply closet and just breathe, sometimes deep and sometimes in quick shallow breaths. No. Don’t hyperventilate. Remember what happened last time? Breath. One, two, three, breathe. Okay. Calm again. Don’t think about it. Thinking into it makes the attack come back. Don’t think about it. It’s not your fault. Not your fault.

“Hey Joel?” Ray called into the empty office.  
“Mmm here,” Joel said stepping out of the closet.

“Seems like you just…”

“Don’t you fucking dare Ray.”

“Seems like you just came out of the closet again BUDUM TIS.” Joel groaned.  
“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to say hi…” Ray said biting his lip and shifting his weight on his feet from his ankles to his toes. Ray was so damn cute.

“Hi Ray.”

“Hi Joel.”

“See you later Joel.”

“See ya Ray.”

It was amazing how quickly Ray’s face would calm Joel down and forget about the anxiety that burned his stomach like acid. But at home, this ordeal was different. Ray was, quite literally, Joel’s ray of sunshine. When he felt the acid anxiety burn him Ray was like his buffer, soething to get his pH balance under control. But sometimes not even Ray could calm Joel down, and things like that went a little like this:

Joel could feel it coming, it was like he had just swallowed a pin and it was now dropping into his stomach. His heart would beat faster and he could feel the blood rush to his face in a blush, but he would try and hide it with an ‘excuse me’ and run to the bedroom. He would try and comfort himself, rubbing his arms and breathing deep, controlling himself. Controlling. But then he started to think, and think, until he couldn’t take it anymore. What if Ray comes in? What if he laughs? Takes a picture and sends it to everyone? What if he leaves? What if he panics? What if he says something to make me feel worst? What if he leaves me?

Joel curled up into a ball, rubbing his hands on his knees and his arms. Calm down. Calm down. He will not leave you.

But what if he does? What if he just gets sick and tired of your bullshit, your ramblings about the stock market? Your stupid habits? Joel was started in have quick shallow breaths again, and the faint knock and ‘Hello? Joel?’ that came out his bedroom door didn’t help at all. He wanted to disappear or transform into an ant. Ants don’t have stupid anxiety panic attacks. Fuck.

But when Ray sat down next to him, and wrapped his arms around Joel, and told him that he was okay, his breathing became regular again and he calmed down. Ray’s touch filled Joel’s veins with sunshine, and the cold anxiety melted. Embarrassment, however, burned Joel’s skin in place of the panic, and Joel still wanted to disappear.

“m sorry,” Joel managed to mumble, Ray just laughed and asked what for.

“I just, completely freaked the fuck out and I don’t know how to stop freaking out and I just-” Joel shut himself up, he was blabbing and not making sense.

“It’s okay Joel jesus fuck, you’re acting like I’m going to like do something badabout this.” Ray ruffled Joel’s hair like he was the young one here, “Do you still want to eat chinese food? It’s probably cold on the counter already though.” Joel nodded, and sheepishly asked if Ray was okay or if he wanted to break up or-

“Break up? Over a panic attack? You have to be shitting me.” So Joel dropped it, and he was so very happy to have Ray by his side.


End file.
